Dry

Ever feel like a dry, withered plant? I do today and have for the past few months. Winter probably has alot to do with it, that depressing lack of sunshine makes me feel un-motivated and un-inspired. It's not the dry air or the fact that everything else around me is in a state of frozen hibernation...it's the aspect of how everthing I do, spiritual or not, seems cold.
My attitude has sucked lately. I've not exactly been the encouraging person doleing out half-glass-full manta's. My perspective about issues in my life have only left me grumbling and shaking my head on how stupid people can be or how ridiculous a decision is. This isn't how I like to be and I'm not proud of it, but it's honestly how I feel. Kume-bye-Ya.

I haven't been reading much in the past few months actually and am embarassed to say it's due to the classic,cliche reason of the holidays and then sickness in my little family. If your a mom or even remotely understand a mothers role, you might 'get' me here-our work is never done.
Not reading literature pertaining to christianity or even sitting to meditate or pray, leaves me feeling dry.

..like...we're supposed to be 'watered' all the time right?

But, if we don't water ourselves, then who will?
We're meant to SEEK the spirit right?
Am I missing something here?

When I have plants (which isn't often, becuase I most always kill them), I put them somewhere that looks good (hmmm, self-discovery moment...I really am about impressions) Like as part of a vinget. Then I leave it...and leave it...and leave it. Oh, and then, it gets a little crispy and the soil starts to get kinda gray...but it's still green, so it'll be fine.
Then two weeks later when I really look at it again, it's brown and ugly. I scurry to water it, hoping my splash of water will bring it back to life. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it needs more than just water and a full blown fertilization process.
Converting that to how I live my life spiritually....ouch.
I'm not consistent which explains my current dry and withered state.

I resolve today to start back into my reading, if only few a few splashes.